Bad Days
by greypolkadots
Summary: Prequel to Sweet Sixteen. Arizona is going through a difficult time and Alex is the only one who can help. December 2012 - January 2015.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a three-chapter prequel to _Sweet Sixteen_. Many people responded and wanted to know how Alex and Arizona ended up where they did. This is the crazy back story that my mind created for them. I know this isn't probably anywhere near what people expected - so I'd really like to hear what you think. I hope you enjoy chapter 1!

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are owned by ABC and not me.

**...**

Arizona Robbins was always very diligent about taking care of herself. She ate a healthy diet and worked out regularly. She prided herself in taking care of her body. Her only vices were coffee, doughnuts and the rare cigarette. She had no history of major illness or disease on either side of her family. Both of her parents were in their sixties and still felt like they were in their thirties. Which is why, only two months after her annual physical, Arizona was shocked when she felt a lump in her right breast. Arizona stood under the showerhead and let the water rush over her as she poked and prodded at the new discovery. It felt like a frozen pea and it definitely hadn't been there the last time she gave herself a breast exam. Her feet stood rooted in the shower as she kept going over the lump with her fingers. It wasn't until the water went cold that Arizona broke out of her daze and got out of the shower.

Arizona knew the statistics. She went over them as she made the drive to work. She knew that she had about an eighty percent chance that the lump was nothing but just a lump, but that didn't stop her from freaking out internally. Her shock and sense of fear invaded her mind and caused her to be late for work. Once she got to work, Arizona was booked for back-to-back surgeries all day which helped keep her mind off of the lump but didn't allow her time to go get it checked out. That night, Arizona laid awake in bed all night worrying about what the lump could mean for her.

She was grateful that she had the next day off of work. By the time the sun rose in the morning, Arizona's entire apartment was spotless due to her inability to sleep and her restless mind. As soon as the clock struck nine, Arizona picked up the phone and called her personal physician. The nurse on the other end of the line tried reassuring Arizona that the lump was probably nothing but as a doctor Arizona's mind couldn't rest until she knew for sure.

Two hours after her initial phone call, Arizona was sitting on a cold bed in a sterile treatment room wearing nothing but a paper gown. Her nerves were at an all-time high while she waited for her doctor to come in. As a surgeon who worked in a busy hospital, Arizona understood that doctors were busy but that didn't make the twenty minute wait in the room any easier. The sterileness of the room didn't help matters any either. The room wasn't very inviting. Pictures of female anatomy graced the walls with reminders about yearly check-ups. Arizona missed the bright and warm colors of her pediatric department. Oh how she wished she was at work fixing tiny humans instead of where she was at. When a knock at the door signaled her doctor's arrival, Arizona took a deep breath ready to get the exam over with.

An hour later, Arizona left her doctor's office without any relief from her worries. After a physical exam and ultrasound the doctor was unable to determine if the lump was just a cyst or something more serious. She was being referred to a specialist. A diagnostic mammogram was going to be necessary to get more information. For the rest of the week Arizona was in limbo. Each test she underwent was inconclusive and required more invasive testing. With each test, Arizona's hopes that this lump was just a cyst or a fibroid got smaller and smaller.

Arizona had just scrubbed out of her second surgery of the day when she felt her phone vibrate in her lab coat pocket. One look at the caller id made her stomach drop. She had been waiting for the last two days for the results of the biopsy and the phone ringing in her hand would finally give her the definitive answers she was looking for. As soon as she answered the phone, she knew the answer to her questions. If it had been good news, the nurse would have at least hinted that it was good to ease her worries. Instead, she was just asked to come in to discuss the results.

The biopsy came back positive. She had cancer. As soon as those words came out of her doctor's mouth, Arizona mentally checked out of the conversation. Her head started swimming with thoughts and none of them were good. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she had breast cancer. She had done everything she was supposed to do to lessen her risk of cancer. She went green several years ago and refused to use cleaning chemicals and started buying organic. She had even cut down to one pack of cigarettes a year when she used to smoke one a month. She didn't understand how cancer had happened to her. She tried to listen as the doctor discussed further tests she needed to do to determine the severity of the disease and if it was spreading. She tried to listen as the doctor mentioned that breast cancer survival rates were good and that Arizona shouldn't worry. But Arizona was a doctor herself and knew that there was no such thing as a good cancer diagnosis. Having cancer was never a good thing.

Two weeks to the day that she found the lump in her breast, Arizona returned to her newest doctor's office to get her ultimate diagnosis. She never thought that she would be seeing an oncologist as a patient. She did date an oncologist once but that didn't last long as hearing sad cancer stories over dinner wasn't her idea of a good time. And now she had become one of those sad cancer stories.

Stage IIIA invasive breast cancer. That was what the oncologist said when she sat down across from his desk. He pointed to her scans and showed her what he was talking about. Her tumor was three centimeters in diameter and cancer cells were also starting to clump together in her lymph nodes. The oncologist said that while the discovery of cells in the lymph nodes was troubling, that they had still discovered it very early. Arizona failed to see the good news. She didn't understand why doctors liked to refer to what she was dealing with in a positive light. It wasn't good. She had cancer and it was starting to spread.

Once the oncologist finished going over her diagnosis and what it meant it was time to talk about treatment. He went over the various options: lumpectomy, mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation. More than likely it would be a combination of treatments that would make her cancer-free. The doctor gave Arizona his suggested treatment route but the decision was solely Arizona's to make. There were other things to consider as well. Due to Arizona only being thirty-five years old, there were fertility issues to think about. Chemotherapy had the potential to make her infertile. While Arizona had been against having children most of her life, those thoughts had changed in recent years. There were treatment options that could allow her to freeze her eggs for future use but those options could also speed up the progression of her cancer due to the hormones involved and doing so would also delay her treatment by over a month. Arizona had important decisions to make. The decisions that Arizona had to make would effect her entire future.

**...**

Arizona had never felt more alone that she did after getting the cancer diagnosis. While Arizona was outgoing and friendly, she was also deeply private. She didn't like sharing her emotions with anyone. She grew up with a military father who often treated her like she was one of his Marines. And Marines weren't allowed to show any emotion. Growing up, she learned not to cry when she was sad or hurt. Crying showed weakness and the Robbins weren't weak people. The Robbins also didn't air their dirty laundry for everyone to know about. Arizona was a great friend and people loved being her friend but it was only her very best friends that got to know the true Arizona Robbins. She would let people know just enough about her to think they knew her but they didn't. The things that made Arizona really tick were secrets that only those closest to her knew.

Since she returned from Africa over a year earlier, Arizona hadn't been able to let anyone back into her life. She kept her relationships on the surface only. She had been too hurt by Callie to let anyone hurt her again. Giving up her dream of Africa for her dream of a life with her girlfriend only to find that her girlfriend was pregnant with her best friend's baby was hard to swallow. Even though they were broken up, Arizona still felt deeply betrayed by Callie and Mark. Arizona never wanted to feel that pain again so she simply didn't let anyone get close to her again. The closest she had come to letting someone in was Teddy but over the past year Teddy had been in her own world with her marrying a patient for insurance, then falling in love for real and finally Henry's death. Arizona's need to keep the walls up around her led her to being diagnosed with cancer and having no one to talk to about it. She wasn't ready to let anyone in on the secret just yet.

Arizona called in sick the next day at work. Technically since she had cancer she was sick. In reality, Arizona's mind was all over the map and she didn't trust herself to operate on tiny humans. She had spent the night doing what she advises the parents of her patients not to do - googling her condition. She discovered she had a fifty-six percent chance of survival after five years. She wasn't an oncologist and didn't know cancer but she had always been hearing about how there were such great improvements in breast cancer treatments happening in the medical world. She thought her survival rate would hover around seventy-five percent, not fifty-five. Fifty-six percent was a harsh reality. There was almost a one in two chance that she wouldn't live to see her fortieth birthday. She also started researching treatment options while she couldn't sleep. She read blogs written by survivors about their choices and treatment paths. She also read blogs that had abruptly ended because the blog author had died. She spent the night alone in the dark with only the light from her laptop illuminating her bedroom. By the time the next day started she had a treatment plan. She had a plan to beat the cancer and still have the future she dreamed about. The next day she walked into the Chief's office and asked for a sabbatical from work.

**...**

Alex Karev was in the middle of his fifth year of his surgical residency. It was the most important year of his young career. At the end of the year he would have to sit for his board examination. If he didn't pass, his future in pediatric surgery was over. Alex had gotten by in college and medical school by last minute cramming. His ability to learn information in short periods of time was impressive but for the boards it wouldn't work. There was simply too much information to learn and not enough time. If he studied the entire year for the exam he still wouldn't know everything possible. But Alex thought ahead and at the beginning of the year he asked his mentor for help and she said yes. Arizona had spent the last two years grooming Alex for the pediatric surgical fellowship at Seattle Grace-Mercy West and she wasn't about to lose him because of his poor study habits. Arizona made it her mission to help Alex pass his boards. They spent two nights a week studying in Arizona's office. If they both worked the overnight shift and it was a slow night, Arizona would spend the free time quizzing him instead of sleeping. It was all going well until Alex heard rumors that Arizona was leaving the hospital again.

Alex was furious when he heard the rumor that Dr. Robbins had quit. She had already left him once and those were two of the worst months of his residency. He decided that if she was going to leave again, he was going to let her know how he felt about it.

"Were you even going to tell me yourself?" Alex yelled as he walked into her office.

Arizona sat behind her office desk with her mouth gaping open. She didn't know what had gotten into Alex but he knew better than to storm into her office and demand things from her.

"Huh?" Alex demanded again when Arizona didn't say anything. "You're just going to leave me again? Leave the department? What about my boards? You promised me you'd get me to pass!"

Arizona slowly realized that something must have leaked about her sabbatical. She only hoped that the reason for her sabbatical wasn't common knowledge. She told the Chief to tell people that she was taking time off to research. She would tell people the real reason eventually but she wasn't ready for that yet. She wasn't ready to deal with fake sympathy from people that barely knew her. She needed to know what Alex knew.

"First off, stop yelling at me. I'm your superior, Karev," Arizona said firmly. "Secondly, what are you even talking about?"

Alex crossed his arms over his chest as he stood by the chairs opposite the desk, "Yang just told me you quit. You're leaving again."

"Karev -," Arizona tried to interrupt Alex's rant but he wasn't listening to her.

"Why are you leaving this time? Back to Africa? Or can you just not deal with seeing Callie, Sloan and Sofia around? Because I thought you were over that."

Arizona had enough from Alex. He was her subordinate and had no right to talk to her like that, no matter how friendly they had gotten during their study time. "Karev, you need to stop talking before I throw something at you."

At the threat of violence Alex promptly shut his mouth.

Seeing that Alex was going to let her talk, Arizona was ready to try to answer his questions without telling him the real reasons. "I am leaving. But not permanently. I'm taking a sabbatical for research purposes."

"What?" Alex asked. He spent a lot of time with Arizona at work and while studying and she never once mentioned research opportunities.

"I'm not sure how long I'll be gone. At least six months. But you're going to need to find someone else to help get you through your boards. I recommend Callie. She's got great study methods. She got the highest scores in her class on her intern exam and boards."

Arizona saw Alex's face visibly deflate when she mentioned that she was going to be out for at least six months. She just hoped that he wouldn't ask questions. She tried to shift the conversation to his boards as a way to deflect for comments on her sabbatical.

"I don't want Torres. I want you. You know where I'm at and what I need to learn. Not her."

"Alex, there's nothing I can do. I've already accepted this opportunity," Arizona explained.

Alex threw his hands up in the air, "What about the department? Who's taking over this time?"

Arizona cringed. She knew Alex wasn't going to like the answer. "Stark."

"Stark?" Alex yelled. His anger was starting to build again. "That guy ruined peds while you were in Africa."

"I know but he's the only one willing to take a short-term contract. And he's actually a really great surgeon. He's just not a people person."

"What is this research program even about? Why haven't you mentioned it before?" Alex asked again. He was trying to find any way to convince Arizona to stay and he couldn't do that if he didn't know what she was leaving for.

Arizona opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of both of their pagers going off. With a quick glance to her hip to see that it was an urgent page to the NICU, Arizona grabbed the coat off the back of her chair and got up to leave the room.

Arizona grabbed Alex by the arm and pulled him into the hospital corridor, "I'm not leaving for six weeks, Alex. I'll do all that I can to help you until then. But for now, we've got work to do."

**...**

Word quickly spread around the hospital about a shouting match between the pediatric dream team in Arizona's office. News of Arizona's sabbatical spread like wildfire and by the end of the day everyone was wondering just what was going on with Arizona.

Alex was in a sour mood the rest of the day. Arizona was one of the only people in the hospital who believed in him from the start. She ignored his gruff exterior and saw the great doctor that he could be. Alex was on call all night and luckily for him it was a slow one. He spent the night on a computer in the research lab. It was his turn to do some googling. He started by googling Arizona's name. If she had been selected to do this research then surely there would be a press release or something about it but nothing came up in the search results. The last hits on Arizona's name tied back to her work with the Carter-Madison grant program. Then he did general searching about pediatric surgery research programs but that came back with too many results to discover anything. He didn't give up his search for information. He spent the next few days asking everyone in the department what was going on with Dr. Robbins but no one knew anything more than the fact that she was given this opportunity and couldn't turn it down.

After having his boss and mentor ignore him for the past several days, Alex had had enough. His desire for answers led him to be knocking on her condo door at eight o'clock on a Wednesday night. He knew that she had the night off of work and as far as he knew she didn't have much of a social life at the moment so she had to be home.

Arizona was surprised to hear someone knocking on her door on a random Wednesday night. Lately the only visitors she received were food delivery guys and she hadn't ordered any food that night. She had been spending her night doing what she had been doing every night since her diagnosis - researching breast cancer treatments online. Upon hearing the knock, Arizona put her laptop on the coffee table and got up to see who it was. She looked through the peep hole and was surprised to see Alex Karev standing on the other side of her door. She wasn't in the mood to deal with him that night so she tiptoed away from the door and hoped that he would go away.

After waiting a minute with no answer Alex knocked on the door again. He waited for an answer. He knew Arizona was home. He spent every Tuesday and Thursday studying with her and she often spoke of her Wednesday nights which were always spent at the gym and then catching up on reality television shows. She had even gotten him hooked on her favorite, Top Chef, and Alex knew that a new episode would be on in an hour so Arizona had to be home to watch it. When Arizona failed to answer the door again, he leaned his ear up against the door to listen for sounds of activity inside. He could hear the faint sounds of music which signaled to him that she was home. Arizona was such a champion of the environment that she'd never leave anything in use if she wasn't using it.

Alex knocked again. "Robbins," Alex called out through the door. "I know you're in there. Just answer the door."

Alex gave Arizona a chance to answer again but she stayed rooted in the kitchen. She didn't dare move for fear of Alex hearing it.

"Robbins!" Alex bellowed even louder. "I will make a scene if you don't open the door."

Arizona sighed. She knew Alex was telling the truth. He had no problem making a scene and she didn't need her neighbors knowing her business. She had no other option but to let him in. Arizona quickly cleaned up the living room that had turned into a cancer research center. She closed her laptop and moved it as well as all of her papers onto the kitchen table.

Wordlessly, Arizona opened the door and gestured for Alex to enter.

"What are you doing here, Karev?" Arizona asked once she shut the door behind him.

Alex stared at her, hoping that his stare would get her to finally tell him the truth. "I want answers."

"I told you already. I'm going to do research."

"I want details. I want to know what is so great that you're leaving again," Alex shoved his hands in his pockets. "Last time you didn't just leave the department and Torres. There were others that needed you too. You left us with Stark once and you can't do that again."

Arizona shook her head sadly, "I don't have a choice, Alex."

"Bullshit. You always have a choice."

Arizona rubbed at her temples. The drugs that she was on to stimulate her ovaries for egg retrieval were causing some of the worst headaches she had ever had and combined with all of the other stresses in her life, Alex yelling at her was just pushing her over the edge. She needed caffeine and pain killers. "I need a drink. You want anything?"

"No," Alex replied curtly and followed Arizona into the kitchen. "I don't want anything from you until you answer my questions," he figured Arizona was just trying to stall him.

Arizona ignored Alex as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine. Her mind raced as she found the corkscrew in a drawer and started opening the bottle. She needed to figure out what to tell Alex to get him off of her back until she was ready to let people in on her secret.

Arizona didn't need to figure out what to say. When she turned around, Alex was standing at her kitchen table holding up a stack of papers. While Arizona was busy pouring wine, Alex was checking out her kitchen. He had only been to her place once before when she was sick at home and needed Alex to bring her some case files. Alex couldn't help but notice her normally tidy ways weren't so tidy in the kitchen that day. Sitting on the kitchen table was a stack of papers that looked like they had just been thrown there. Being a curious person, Alex couldn't help himself as he moved closer to the kitchen table. He noticed that the papers looked like copies from medical journals. He was honestly just curious about what Arizona was researching. He figured it was probably about a patient they had at work. It wasn't until he had picked them up that he noticed that the top page was an article about breast cancer. Alex quickly wondered why Arizona would be reading about breast cancer. With Arizona's strange behavior and her sudden sabbatical for research Alex knew that there was only one answer. Arizona had cancer.

Arizona's mouth dropped open when she saw Alex holding the papers. She nearly dropped the two glasses of wine she was holding but managed to put them down on the counter before she could make a mess. Alex was also in a daze as he stared at Arizona who was staring at him. He couldn't believe it. He didn't understand why Arizona was lying. Especially to him. He had been through cancer with Izzie. He understood cancer.

"Alex," she started to explain herself.

"You have breast cancer?" Alex asked with a sad look on her face.

The look on his face was exactly why she didn't want people knowing. She didn't want people feeling sorry for her. But Alex knew and that couldn't be undone. She couldn't even be mad at him for snooping because it was her fault for wanting to get a drink which brought them both into the kitchen where she had stashed the paperwork.

Arizona sighed, "I do."

"That's why you're taking a sabbatical?" Alex still couldn't believe it.

"Yes."

Alex needed a drink. Yet another important woman in his life had cancer. Alex grabbed a glass of wine and handed it to Arizona before taking a glass for himself, "Where are you doing treatment?"

Arizona took a long gulp of wine, "Seattle Pres."

"You're going to the enemy?"

Arizona took another gulp of wine, finishing her glass. She went back for the rest of the bottle. "They have the best breast cancer specialist in the area," Arizona explained as she filled her glass and topped off Alex's.

"That sucks," Alex said plainly.

Arizona let out a meek laugh, "Yeah it does."

"I'm sorry," Alex said as he reached out and touched Arizona's forearm. He genuinely cared for Arizona and hated that she was dealing with this.

Arizona just nodded. She seemed to be holding back tears so Alex didn't say anything else. They both stood silently in the kitchen for several minutes as they finished their glasses of wine.

Alex placed his empty glass back on the kitchen counter, "I guess I'll leave you to the rest of your evening then. Sorry for intruding."

"Why don't you stay? Top Chef is on soon and there's only a few people left. It'd be fun to snark on the cheftestants together. It's been a bad day and we could both use it," Arizona suggested. She knew Alex watched the show as they often talked about it during surgeries. With the heaviness of cancer weighing down the mood of the room, she really needed something lighter and watching reality television was great for mindless entertainment.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure," Arizona said picking up the bottle of wine and gesturing for Alex to take his glass into the living room with them.

Over an hour later, Arizona had laughed more in one night than she had in two weeks. She had forgotten that she had cancer and instead got lost in Alex's running commentary about the show. She didn't know that Alex could be that witty. He was great at one-liners. She liked it.

Even though she hated feeling weak around others, Arizona had to admit that she felt relief not keeping her secret to herself anymore.

**...**

Almost six weeks later, Arizona was finishing up her last day at work. She didn't know how long chemotherapy was going to take but she hoped to be back in six months. Her oncologist estimate four to eight months so she split the middle with six. She hated leaving the department in the hands of Dr. Stark but he was a competent doctor even if he was a crappy human being.

The department threw her a goodbye party but Arizona couldn't enjoy it because she felt like a fraud. After six weeks she was able to keep the real reason for her sabbatical quiet. Only four people knew the truth: Owen Hunt, Alex Karev and her parents. She didn't have to worry about her parents ratting her out since they lived on the other side of the country. Hunt had no reason to gossip about her so she knew he wouldn't tell. And Alex - she trusted Alex too. After she told him that she had cancer, Alex had given her an awkward hug and told her that he wouldn't tell. Since then he hadn't mentioned it once to her.

Alex stood in the corner picking at a piece of cake throughout the party. He had respected Arizona's privacy since he found out about her diagnosis. He didn't know how severe the cancer was but judging on the fact that Arizona was taking a long sabbatical he assumed it wasn't early-stage. He genuinely cared for her and hated to see her going through this. He also hated that she was going through it alone. Alex couldn't believe that she hadn't told anyone. He expected Teddy to at least know but after listening to Teddy gush about Arizona's research prospects for ten minutes over cake he assumed that she had no idea. Alex couldn't take another minute of Arizona pretending to be happy. He knew that she had to be torn up on the inside and watching her fake it was making him sick. Alex threw the rest of his cake in the trash and left the party.

Arizona watched from across the room as Alex left the party. She was sad that he couldn't stay but she realized that he was in a tough position since he knew the truth. So she did what she had to do. She tried to put on a happy face as she mingled with the nurses and doctors who were wishing her the best and telling her that they couldn't wait to see her back. She tried not to think about the egg retrieval surgery she had the next day or the double mastectomy she had scheduled for the day after that. Everyone around her thought she was going off to do prestigious research that would make her famous in the pediatric surgery world and she needed to act like it.

**...**

Alex was wrapping up his shift for the day when he heard a loud crash coming from inside Arizona's office. Alex worried about Arizona's safety and immediately rushed to see what happened. Alex wasn't the only one who heard the crash. He was joined by several other hospital staff as they slowly opened the door to see what had happened.

Immediately, Alex saw Arizona standing in the middle of a mess. Her desk had been flipped on its' side throwing everything on it and inside of it into a disarray. Arizona was standing in the middle looking like she was teetering between breaking down in tears and throwing her bookshelf on the floor with the desk. Arizona looked up with a glare when she saw she had company.

"Don't you people know how to knock?" she said angrily as everyone stared at her.

Alex whispered in hush tones to everyone else to leave as he entered the room and shut the door behind him. He started picking up random pieces of paper on the ground in front of him.

"Just leave it and go," Arizona told him as she joined him in picking up the mess.

Alex ignored her and kept picking up the papers that were strewn about the office floor.

Arizona stood up and ripped the papers from his hand, "I said leave it and go. You're off shift. Go home. This isn't your mess."

"I'm not leaving," Alex stood his ground. He knew Arizona needed to talk to someone and since he was the only one who knew he was it.

Arizona ignored him and grabbed a strewn stack of files off of the floor and put them on a bookshelf. They continued to work in silence until most of the mess was cleaned up.

"So are you going to tell me what caused you to go all Real Housewives of New Jersey on your desk?" Alex broke the silence as he helped her flip the desk right side up. He noted that it was a solidly built desk. Arizona must have been really upset to have the strength to flip it.

Arizona just laughed, "I'm just having a bad day. Like I don't have enough of them already."

"Is it...," Alex said before lowering his voice like someone was going to over hear them. "The cancer?"

Arizona just continued to laugh. Laughing at her problems seemed like the only way to get through them some days. "No, not exactly. It's about sperm."

Hearing the word sperm had Alex instantly curious. "Sperm?"

"Yeah," Arizona nodded. She wasn't sure why she was sharing this information with Alex but he was the only person she could talk to in Seattle. "Part of the reason why I haven't done treatment yet is because I've been doing ovarian stimulation for egg retrieval. I'm actually having that done tomorrow before the big surgery on Thursday."

"And you picked a crappy sperm donor?" Alex asked wondering what the big problem with sperm could be. Almost every guy had an endless supply of it. To him it was nothing special.

Arizona sighed as she flopped onto her office couch, "No, I picked a great sperm donor. This guy was pretty much everything I wanted. High IQ, athletic, tall and he had a really cute baby picture."

"Then what's the problem?" Alex asked as he sat next to her on the couch.

Arizona ran her hands over her face trying to rub the headache that had taken up permanent residence in her head away, "The stupid lab that received the sperm hires incompetent people is the problem. Some idiot left the lid to the fridge slightly open and now all of the sperm they had in that fridge, _my sperm , _is destroyed. And all they could offer me was this chemical engineer's sperm." Arizona pulled out a sheet of paper with his profile from her pocket and handed it to Alex, "The guy is a total nerd. I want smart but I also want socially competent. And I can't change the date since you know the eggs are ready."

"That sucks," Alex empathized as he read the sheet of paper.

Alex was able to succinctly sum up her emotions for her. He could be abrasive but he was truthful. "Yeah, it does."

Alex handed the paper back to her, "That dude sounds like a first class dweeb. You are too hot to have dweeby babies."

"It's my only option," Arizona stuffed the paper back in her pocket.

"No, it's not," Alex said.

"Yes, it is," Arizona didn't get what Alex was failing to comprehend. It was simple. The good sperm was ruined and only bad sperm was left.

Alex looked Arizona in the eyes, "Use mine."

Arizona couldn't believe what she was hearing. Alex said it so calmly and so simply like it wasn't a big deal.

"I have lots of sperm," Alex expanded on his thoughts. "I don't need it and you do. You can have it."

Alex went back to laughing, "Alex, it's not that easy."

"Yes, it is. You tell me when and where and I'll do it in a cup. Then, they take it and squirt it into your eggs. Very easy."

Alex was right. Technically and scientifically it was very easy. But Arizona was thinking about the emotional aspect of it. "And what happens when your sperm and my eggs turn into a crying baby? How is that easy?"

"It'd be your baby, Robbins," Alex shrugged his shoulders. "Just because I provided half the DNA doesn't mean anything. I'll sign what I need to sign."

"That easy?"

"Yep," Alex affirmed. "Unless you don't want my sperm. But my sperm is good. And I'm not a dweeb. I'm smart. I was a state champion wrestler. I don't have any baby pictures but I'm sure I was cute. How could I not have been cute to turn out looking this good?"

"I don't know," Arizona said. She was very unsure about this situation. She never wanted to know her baby's father. She liked it being anonymous but using Alex would definitely not be anonymous.

"Look, I've done this before. For Izzie. It's not a big deal."

"But you and Izzie were together at the time," Arizona countered.

"But we aren't now and who knows what she's done with the embryos. I know you'll be a good mom and that's all that I care about for my swimmers," Alex could tell that Arizona needed time to think this over. "I'm just saying that you have another option than that dork. Think about it and if you need me for action tomorrow, call me. I'm not working," Alex said as he stood up from the couch and made his way to leave the office.

Arizona watched Alex leave but didn't say anything as he left. It took a lot to make Arizona Robbins speechless but at that moment she was. She had no idea what to think or what to do. It was going to be a very long night.

**...**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Part 2 of 3. First off, I'd like to apologize for all the grammar/spelling errors in the first chapter. I had a migraine while I was proofreading and that showed when I went back and re-read it. I've gone back and fixed it now. Also, thanks for all the reviews and alerts on chapter 1. I make no claims as to the accuracy of the medical stuff in this. I only know what I've learned as a family member of a breast cancer survivor. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are owned by ABC and not me.

**...**

Alex was sleeping in on his day off when he was woken up by a phone call he didn't think he'd get. He was honest with Arizona the day before. He had no problem sharing his sperm but he could understand why Arizona would have hang ups about it. He thought for sure that she'd go for the safe route of the unknown donor even though a Karev-Robbins kid would be a genetic gold mine. But Arizona proved him wrong and woke him up at ten in the morning with instructions on where to go and when.

Arizona was already filling out paperwork in the waiting room of the outpatient surgery center when Alex arrived. He was feeling pretty good about himself as he walked into the office. Even the lesbian wanted his sperm. That helped him feel better as he remembered that he hadn't had a proper girlfriend in over a year.

Alex took a seat next to Arizona and they sat in silence as she finished filling out the paperwork. Just as she finished signing the last page, an older man with greying hair dressed in scrubs came out to greet them. Alex assumed that he must be Arizona's doctor.

"Dr. Robbins," he greeted her. "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine," Arizona answered, which was a lie. Her nerves were all over the place. She hadn't been put under anesthesia since she had her wisdom teeth out when she was seventeen. Even as a surgeon, she was nervous to be put under. And this wasn't even the bad surgery. She would be in and out under an hour for egg retrieval. Her surgery the next day was scheduled to take six hours.

"Good, good," Dr. Waters replied. "The procedure will be quite simple today. We'll put you out and in an hour you'll be waking up in recovery. I heard that you were providing your own sperm sample?"

"Yes," Arizona nodded her head toward Alex and he stretched out his hand to shake the gynecologist's hand.

After introducing themselves to each other, Dr. Waters turned back to Arizona. "And who is going to be driving you home?"

"I'll be taking a cab," Arizona answered. She knew she couldn't drive after anesthesia and she didn't want to burden Alex any further than she already had.

Without discussion, Alex put his hand on Arizona's twitching knee, "I'm taking her home."

"Great. We'll call you back soon," Dr. Waters said before retreating back behind the waiting room door.

"Alex," Arizona started to tell Alex that driving her home wasn't necessary but he cut her off.

Alex squeezed Arizona's knee with the hand that was still lingering on it, "Arizona, stop. I can take you home. It's no big deal."

"Alex, you're doing enough."

A nurse interrupted from the doorway, "Dr. Robbins, we're ready to get started. Dr. Karev, we'll call you back in a minute for your part."

"I'll be here when you're done. Plus, I figure I might get some dirt seeing you all doped up, Robbins. You've seen the YouTube videos of people after anesthesia. You'll be my entertainment for the day," Alex explained as Arizona stood up to get the procedure started.

Arizona gave Alex a genuine smile before heading back with the nurse, "Thank you."

Alex understood that the gratitude was for what he was about to do and not the ride home. Arizona didn't need to say it. For him it was something simple he could do for a mentor that had done so much for him.

**...**

The next thing Arizona remembered was waking up on the couch in her living room. She groggily opened her eyes and tried to make out the clock on the cable box to see what time it was; if she ignored the ache in her pelvis, she felt like she had gotten a full night of rest.

"It's four in the afternoon," a voice called from the other couch opposite of Arizona.

Alex closed the book he was studying from to move to the opposite end of the couch where Arizona's legs were curled up. "How do you feel? Can I get you anything?"

"Water... please," she was able to get out when she got her dry throat to cooperate.

Alex returned a minute later with a glass of water and a doughnut on a plate. Arizona hadn't been able to eat before the surgery so he was sure that she had to be hungry.

"Thank you," Arizona smiled as she scooted up on the couch into a sitting position. "How did it go?" she asked before taking a bite into the glazed doughnut.

"Everything went well. Dr. Waters got eighteen eggs to fertilize with the sperm. He said he'd be calling tonight to check on you and that he'd know how many fertilized in three days," Alex repeated to her what the doctor had told him as they finished the surgery.

"Good," Arizona nodded as she finished her doughnut. "And am I going to be a YouTube star tomorrow?"

Alex rubbed his chin, "Well you did profess your undying love for me and serenade me with Love Shack."

Arizona's mouth dropped open in shock.

Alex bust up laughing as he realized that Arizona took him seriously, "You were pretty boring. You only woke up when I put you in the car and brought you up to the couch."

Arizona playfully rolled her eyes but she was truthfully thankful she didn't do or say anything stupid. Arizona nodded to the book in front of Alex, "How's the studying going?"

"It's okay," Alex shrugged. Studying out of a book and notes wasn't nearly as educational as being quizzed by Arizona. He learned better by being challenged and taught. Reading the material wasn't working so well for him. "Not as good as you though."

"Well, I'm well rested so how about we do some work now?" Arizona then paused and smacked her hand against her head, "Wait. It's your day off and I've already monopolized your entire day. You probably have better things to do."

Alex toed off his shoes and stretched his feet out on Arizona's coffee table as passed the book over to her, "Honestly, I don't. I'd just be at home if I wasn't here. And living with Avery and Kepner is not as much fun as you think it is."

Arizona took the book and proceeded to spend the next two hours questioning Alex over various surgical procedures. She threw the most outlandish complications at him and to his credit he was able to choose the correct solution most of the time. He still had work to do before boards but he had a few months to get there. Arizona was confident that her protégée would ace his boards.

When Arizona started getting slower with her questioning, Alex took that as a sign that it was time to let her get some rest. She had a long day and he knew that the next day was only going to be even tougher for her.

"So tomorrow's the big day?" Alex asked as he shoved his book into his backpack.

"Yep."

"And you're doing a double?" Alex asked referencing the fact that she was, in fact, losing both of her breasts.

Arizona nodded, "And reconstruction. My oncologist only recommended the one but I figure it's better to be safer than sorry. The cancer's already showing signs of spreading in my lymph nodes so I don't want to chance it. It'll be better in the long run."

"It's a shame," Alex said as he unabashedly stared at her chest. "I haven't had the pleasure but from what I can see, they really are good boobs."

Arizona blushed and smacked him on the arm but deep down she did appreciate his comment. It felt good to know that she had good breasts. She had always enjoyed them. They were perfect. Not too big and not too small. Se had never gotten any complaints about them. For the last two months she had grown to hate them so it was nice to hear that someone was at least still enjoying them. After thinking about it for a moment she surprised Alex with an offer. "You want to see them?"

Alex quirked his eyebrows at the blonde sitting on the couch opposite him, "Seriously?"

Arizona surprised herself as she stripped off her top so that she was only in her bra. She had bikini tops that showed less so she didn't care about him seeing her in her bra. "I've got nothing to lose at this point and you did jerk off in a cup for me today."

"Arizona, no, I can't," Alex tried to refuse the offer even though he really did want a peek. What man would turn down a look at a hot chick's boobs?

"Alex, trust me. I'm fine with this. My boobs have been a freak show for the last two months. I feel like there isn't a doctor in Seattle that hasn't seen them so what if we do this as part of your studying?" Arizona suggested. "Your patient is a mid-thirties female diagnosed with stage IIIA breast cancer. Procedure is a double mastectomy and you're doing pre-op prep."

Alex continued to hesitate to accept the offer. He had to admit he had often wondered what Arizona's rack looked like. She had even starred in one or two dreams of his but he wasn't sure that this was a good idea.

"Take it or leave it. This offer is fading. Three...two..." Arizona was about to put her shirt back on when Alex interrupted.

"Fine," Alex sighed unable to turn down the offer. He did the gentlemanly thing once and turned her down but he couldn't turn her down twice. He didn't know what man could turn it down.

Arizona unhooked her bra and let it drop to her lap. She was surprised that she didn't feel self-conscious as Alex saw her naked chest. She figured it was because what he was looking at was going to be gone in less than twenty four hours. She had already made peace with the loss of her chest. To her it didn't belong to her anymore. The cancer owned it and she was going to evict the cancer the next day. Arizona even went through the pre-op motions with Alex. She lifted her arm and grabbed Alex's hand. Using two of his fingers he placed them on the lump that turned out to be cancer. After seeing Alex's eyes go wide as he felt the lump she figured it was time to put her shirt back on.

Alex was right. They were good boobs. Very good boobs. It was a real shame that those good boobs had cancer in them. Alex broke out of his boob-induced haze when Arizona put her shirt back on. "So do I get to look at the new version when you get them?"

"Ha," Arizona laughed sarcastically at Alex. She might have let him look at the old boobs but the new versions would be staying clothed.

"I'm just saying, if you need an outside opinion. I'm here for you. I want to make sure you get quality goods," Alex smiled at his friend. He was happy to see her smiling about a topic that was so serious.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Alex stood up and headed toward the door with Arizona following him. "You'll be at Seattle Pres tomorrow?"

Arizona nodded affirmatively.

"For how long?" Alex questioned.

Arizona rested against the doorjamb as she held open the door for Alex, "Probably three days. Then start chemo and radiation sometime next week."

"Your parents coming?"

Arizona nodded, "They'll be here in the morning. They're staying two weeks even though I tried to get them to stay home."

"I'm sure your mom just wants to take care of you," Alex flung the backpack over his shoulder. "I'll stop by after my shift tomorrow."

"Alex..."

"I said I'll be there," Alex wasn't going to let Arizona argue this. She was having major surgery and keeping it a secret from all of her friends. He knew she'd need a break from her parents and since no one else knew, he was going to be there. He might be an asshole but he wasn't heartless.

Arizona just nodded as she watched Alex walk toward the staircase at the end of the hall. She re-entered her apartment and made it all the way to the couch before she broke down into tears. Even though she had known that she had cancer for nearly two months it was all finally starting to be real. She didn't like it one bit.

**...**

For the second time in as many days, Arizona woke up from sedation to see Alex sitting beside her. This time instead of studying, he appeared to be sleeping. His head was resting against the back of the chair with his mouth wide open. After her eyes adjusted to the light in the room she looked down and saw that Alex was even holding her hand. Alex must have felt her hand move inside of his because the next thing Arizona knew Alex was sitting upright pouring her a cup of water.

"Here," he pushed a straw at her. "Your throat is probably scratchy from being under."

Arizona gratefully accepted the drink of water and looked around the room for her parents.

"They went to go eat a late dinner," Alex informed her as he squeezed her hand. "Everything went really well. The doctors said everything went perfectly with the mastectomy and the lumpectomy of your lymph nodes."

Arizona gave a weak smile at his words. She felt like she had been hit by a bus. Her entire chest ached. It felt heavy even though so much had just been removed.

Alex could tell Arizona's mind was going to a bad place so he tried to joke with her, "The reconstruction looks really good. Better than the originals."

"Karev, you better have turned your head for that part when they came in for post-op checks," Arizona said with a scratchy throat.

Alex bit his lip, "Of course I did. But I know good boobs and even though they're all taped up under there I can tell that they're good."

Arizona just smiled at him. Even in recovery she would kick his ass for stealing a look. She might have shown him her breasts the day before but she was going to have these new ones for awhile and she didn't want Alex Karev to have a mental image of them.

"How are the tiny humans today?" Arizona asked wanting to change the topic from why she was lying in a hospital bed.

"Pretty good. You haven't been gone long enough for Stark to screw things up yet."

"That's good," Arizona said as she closed her eyes. She was starting to get drowsy again even though she had just woken up from anesthesia.

"I'm doing a congenital heart repair with Altman tomorrow. That should be pretty cool." Alex then paused to ask a question that he had been wondering for awhile, "How are you going to keep Altman from knowing what's really going on during your sabbatical?" Alex knew that Arizona could hide away from everyone for six months even in the same city but Teddy would likely call her at least a few times during the six months to see what her friend was doing.

"She's thrown herself into work post Henry. She doesn't go out anymore. If she does call, I'll just keep pushing her off until I'm in the rest phase of a chemo cycle," Arizona mumbled as she drifted off into dreamland.

Alex released Arizona's hand that he was holding and placed it on the bed next to her. He stood from his chair and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "Get some rest Robbins. I'll come see you tomorrow."

Alex stayed true to his word and continued to visit Arizona in the hospital during her stay. He'd bring her and her parents real food and coffee from outside the hospital. Arizona was quite taken aback by his caring nature toward her. Sure she had seen him care about his patients but she'd never seen him care about another adult like she was showing him - except for Izzie when she had cancer. His niceness and generosity spurred Arizona into her own generosity. She took back her desire to step away from mentoring Alex and prepping him for his boards. She agreed to continue to help him study as long as he came to her for studying and he understood that she was going to have bad days where she would have to cancel study plans. Alex was so grateful for the opportunity to continue his education that he would have agreed to anything.

**...**

Arizona quickly learned that while the mastectomy and reconstruction were physically painful, nothing compared to her first round of chemotherapy. Her oncologist prescribed six cycles of chemo to start. Each cycle was thirty days long. She would undergo five days of intravenous chemo at Seattle Pres, then have ten days off, five days of intravenous chemo and then ten days off to complete the cycle. She also had radiation every day for the first cycle. The radiation was more of a pain than anything as it required going to the hospital daily for a five minute procedure.

It took four days of chemotherapy for Arizona to start to feel the effects. Then they hit her like a bus. She was absolutely miserable. She felt like she had the worst flu ever imaginable. She didn't know how she could feel so bad and still be alive. Arizona didn't know how she was going to survive six months of the pain and torture.

When Alex arrived on day six for his first study session he didn't know what he was going to find. He knew that it was Arizona's first off day from chemo and he hoped that she would be feeling okay. He knew from experience with Izzie that it took awhile for a patient to feel the chemo effects but once they hit they it wasn't pretty.

Barbara Robbins answered the door when Alex arrived. Arizona's mother looked like she hadn't slept in days either.

"How is she?" Alex asked as he walked into Arizona's home.

Barbara gave Alex a small smile, "About as expected from everything I've read online. She's on the couch. You want anything to eat or drink?"

"No, thanks," Alex appreciated the gesture but he didn't want to eat in front of Arizona. He knew she probably wasn't a fan of food at the moment.

Arizona looked like a ghost when Alex walked into the living room. She was very pale and sweating. Even though she was wrapped up under a blanket, Alex could tell that she had already started to lose weight. She looked like she had easily lost five pounds since he had seen her on her last day in the hospital. She had dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks had started to lose their fullness. She looked like she was barely surviving.

"We don't have to do this today," Alex said as soon as he saw her on the couch.

Arizona shook her head negatively, "No, I promised you I'd help you pass."

"Robbins, you look like shit," Alex told her honestly.

"I know. I feel like shit too. Chemo sucks. Don't ever get cancer," she told Alex seriously.

"Can I get you anything?" Alex asked wanting to do anything to help. He hated seeing Arizona hurting. She was a good person. She didn't deserve cancer.

"Yeah," Arizona nodded and pointed toward the couch. "Sit down and let me grill you."

"Ari-," Alex started to protest.

Arizona cut him off, "No. You will sit down and study. I need to do something to keep my mind off the fact that I have poison coursing through my veins. I need something to focus on so that I'm not focusing on the fact that I have to throw up. So you will sit down and you will tell me every step of a Whipple procedure." When Alex didn't move, she raised her voice, "Whipple procedure. Now. Go, Karev."

Alex immediately launched into the steps he would take in an operating room to perform the Whipple. Arizona wasn't pulling any punches. If anything, the chemo made her tougher on Alex. Arizona lasted two hours before she got too tired to continue.

"Are we still on for Sunday?" Alex asked as he packed up his things.

Arizona rolled her eyes as she pulled the blanket on the couch up to cover herself more fully, "What else have I got to do?"

"I'll bring dinner for everyone."

"I'll just puke it back up."

"You need to be eating," Alex reminded her. "If you don't you'll end up back in the hospital."

"Fine. Pizza. Bring cheese pizza. My mom keeps stuffing vegetables down my throat but I already have cancer so why bother eating healthy right now?" Arizona said sarcastically.

Sunday afternoon Alex arrived with cheese pizza. Without either of them saying anything, the pair slipped into an easy routine. Alex came by twice a week and he always brought food for both of them. He said he was coming by to study and he was, but he was also checking up on Arizona. He knew she was trying to be tough and do this on her own but she needed someone. Once her parents left she needed someone to talk to so that she wasn't sitting home alone all week by herself. He needed her help with the boards and she needed his friendship.

Together they were a pretty good pair. Their time together wasn't spent purely on studying. On the bad days when Arizona was too tired or sick to help him study Alex still stayed with her. He'd watch television with her until she fell asleep and while she was sleeping he'd study by himself. Arizona had her parents bring out some of her old materials from her residency that she kept in storage at their home so he had started going through her notes. He found them to be almost as good as Arizona herself. They'd also spend the bad days talking about more than just work and medicine. Some days they'd spend all night playing twenty questions to learn more about each other - they'd talk about anything to keep her mind off of her treatment. Before Arizona knew it, she was halfway through chemotherapy.

**...**

With four weeks to go before his boards, Alex had entered crunch time with studying. Arizona decided that they would meet three days a week for his last month of studying. She had gotten used to the chemo, as much as that was possible, and her good days were starting to outweigh the bad. After over three months of doing nothing more than going to the hospital, she started going out and enjoying life again. Instead of studying at home in her condo, most days she met Alex at a park or coffee house. Many days she even felt like she could even go back to work if she were allowed to do so.

She had been doing so well that Alex was surprised when he received a text from Arizona letting him know that she had to cancel their study session planned for the next day. She texted him with the words "bad days. don't come." Alex knew what that meant. It meant that she was spending her days throwing up and having a major migraine. Alex knew that Arizona must have really not been feeling well because even on some of her worst days, she still had Alex come over. Alex decided that he'd still stop by and check in on her even if she wasn't feeling up to studying. She needed someone to help take care of her and he had gotten pretty good at figuring out what could make her feel slightly better; Arizona deserved to have someone help her feel better. She had been taking such good care of him with his board studies that she deserved to be taken care of too.

Alex had never been more glad that he decided to ignore her request. After over five minutes of knocking on her condo door with no answer, Alex got worried. It was seven at night so she wouldn't be at the hospital for treatment; she had no reason to not be home. Luckily, Alex had been around long enough to know where Arizona kept a hidden key. When he let himself in, he found Arizona passed out on her couch. The shirt she was wearing was soaked in sweat. Alex put his palm on her forehead and immediately felt that it wasn't just warm - it was on fire. With such a high fever Alex knew that Arizona needed to get to a hospital. She likely had an infection due to the chemo killing her immune system.

"Arizona," Alex called as he shook her shoulder trying to wake her up. Arizona stirred but she didn't wake up. "Arizona," he said louder.

"What?" she mumbled before rolling over so that she was facing the couch cushions.

"Arizona, you need to get up. You need to get to the hospital," Alex said forcibly as he rolled Arizona back onto her back.

"No, I need sleep," Arizona mumbled. "No school today, Mom."

Alex realized that Arizona was hallucinating. Her fever was even worse than he thought. Seeing that Arizona wasn't going to help him out, he took action on his own. Alex easily scooped her up in his arms and put her in his car. She needed to get to the hospital. He knew that she'd want to go to Seattle Pres since that was where she was getting treatment but this wasn't a cancer issue; it was an infection and Alex trusted the doctors at his own hospital more than those at Seattle Pres. She would have to deal with the fact that everyone was going to learn just where she had been during her sabbatical.

**...**

Bailey met Alex with an empty gurney at the entrance to the ER. Alex had called on his way in and gave her an abbreviated version about what was going on.

"I've called her doctor at Seattle Pres and he's on his way over. He wants us to hang some fluids while he decides which drug to give her," Alex told Bailey as they wheeled Arizona toward the elevator. Arizona wasn't a surgical case but Alex wanted Bailey taking care of her so they were able to clear a room out on the surgical floor for her.

Bailey took in Arizona's appearance while they were in the elevator. She wouldn't have even known that it was Arizona if Alex hadn't told her. She had easily lost fifteen pounds since she left for her sabbatical. Her face was gaunt and her cheeks were hollow. The biggest change wasn't her loss of weight but it was the loss of hair. Arizona's long blonde locks were gone and only a scant of fuzz remained on her scalp.

"Why didn't she tell us?" Bailey questioned as she held Arizona's hand during the elevator ride. Even she wasn't sure if she was looking for an answer or just wondering out loud.

Alex frowned, "Because of the look you have on your face right now. She didn't want anyone feeling sorry for her. I only found out by accident."

"Well, everyone's going to know now," Bailey sighed as she pushed the bed down the hall towards Arizona's room.

Arizona didn't wake up until the next morning. When she woke up she didn't have to open her eyes to know where she was at. She recognized it by smell. Arizona groaned as she felt the aches in her body. When she did finally open her eyes she found two sets of eyes staring at her. Alex's and Bailey's. All she could see was the disappointment on Bailey's face.

"Arizona if-I-knew-your-middle-name-I-would-be-saying-it Robbins, what on Earth were you thinking? Keeping something like this from us... from your _friends_? It took you having a 102.2 degree fever for us to find out!" Bailey immediately started lecturing Arizona when she saw that she was awake.

"Bailey - I...," Arizona tried to defend herself.

Bailey shook her head, "No. You should have told us. We could have been there for you. I know that this fool Karev obviously wasn't doing a great job of looking out for you since you are now a patient in my hospital."

"Bailey - I...," It was Alex's turn to try to defend himself.

Bailey put up a finger to silence him, "No, you don't get to talk either. You should have told us too. I don't care what Arizona told you to do or not to do."

Both Alex and Arizona looked like scolded children but they both knew that she was right. Arizona was so afraid of looking weak that she didn't let anyone in during a time when she knew her friends would have been strong for her. And Alex was too afraid that Arizona would hate him if he told her secret. In the end, they were both wrong.

"Now your oncologist was here last night. You've come down with an infection. We've given you fluids and he's put you on strong doses of antibiotics."

Arizona dared to interrupt Bailey, "When can I go home?"

"You will be staying here until I say so. So you can expect to be here for at least a couple of days."

"Great," Arizona mumbled under her breath. She was in the ten day rest period of her chemo cycle. The time she was supposed to be getting a break from the hospital and now she was an inpatient.

Bailey's face softened. She had done her lecturing and now it was time to be a friend. Bailey perched herself on the side of Arizona's bed. "We've got this, Arizona. You just work on getting stronger and better. I'll come check on you later."

"I'm sorry," Alex apologized as soon as Bailey left the room. "I didn't know what else to do. I came by to check on you and you were so out of it that I had to bring you in."

"It's fine, Alex," Arizona told him. When she noticed that Alex still looked guilty she reiterated it again. "Really. It's fine. Everyone was going to find out when I got back in a couple of months anyway so it's fine. It's kind of hard to hide the chemo hair."

"So you don't hate me for bring you here?"

"No," Arizona tried to give him a smile but was still feeling very weak. "So, what is everyone saying about me?"

Alex laughed. "I'm pretty sure Altman is going to kick your ass for not telling her. Torres seemed worried but relaxed when I told her that you had been kicking cancer's ass. Everyone in peds sends their love. Bailey told everyone that you're not allowed visitors until after lunch so you have some time to prepare yourself."

Arizona reached out to grab Alex's hand, "Thank you, Alex. I know it wasn't easy keeping my secret. You're a good guy."

"It's no big deal, Robbins. You'd do it for me," Alex said as he tried to hide his smile and act tough. "I gotta get to work. I'll come back when I can to try and save you from all the visitors you'll have."

Once Alex left, Arizona tried to go back to sleep. She was still feeling pretty weak and knew she'd need all of her strength for the onslaught of visitors she expected later in the day. It took all day but finally the two people who would be the toughest on her arrived at her room at the same time.

"What the hell were you thinking, Robbins?" Teddy laid into her as she leaned down for a hug. "You have cancer and you don't tell anyone but freaking Karev?"

"I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems," Arizona told her close friend the truth.

Teddy was still hugging her while Arizona noticed that Callie was hanging out by the doorway. Callie looked like she was afraid to come in.

"You can come closer," Arizona told her. "Cancer's not contagious."

It wasn't that Callie was afraid to get closer, she was just so taken aback by Arizona's radical change in appearance. It hurt Callie to see Arizona looking so sick. Over the year and a half since Arizona had come back from Africa they were able to forge a true friendship and it hurt that Arizona had kept this from her. Once Arizona found out that Callie was pregnant and had slept with Mark, she decided to give up all efforts to rekindle the relationship. She loved Callie but Arizona didn't want to commit herself to a life with Mark. Arizona wanted to be in a relationship and not a threesome. She didn't blame Callie for the permanent end of their relationship. Arizona had left her in an airport so she had no reason to continue to be faithful to her. Callie regretted the fact that she and Arizona weren't able to work out but she understood Arizona's reasons and respected them. It was through their mutual respect for each other that they were able to stay friends.

Arizona calling her out for standing in the entrance, forced Callie to enter the room.

Callie too leaned down for a hug once Teddy let go, "It's good to see you. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," Arizona answered honestly. "But I'm feeling a lot better today than I was yesterday."

"How are you? Really?" Teddy asked.

Arizona ran her hand over her brow, "I'm okay. I mean, the beginning sucked because I didn't know what to expect but now I do. I'd have been back at work months ago during the good weeks if it weren't for chemo brain and my crappy immune system. But hopefully I only have a cycle and a half to go."

Callie raised her eyebrows, "Hopefully?"

"Yeah, hopefully the chemo has done its' job but if it hasn't I'll have to do another couple of rounds with stronger drugs. But tests so far show that the cancer has responded so my doctors are optimistic."

Teddy and Callie couldn't understand how easily Arizona was talking about her cancer. Alex had told them what type of cancer she had and both of the women had spent the morning researching it. They knew that it was serious but Arizona seemed like it was no big deal.

Arizona noticed the looks that they were giving her. She could tell they were curious about her attitude, "Look, I've been dealing with this for six months now. I've spent time with a therapist and accepted it. I've done everything and then some to give myself the best odds for beating this. I'm doing really well with treatment. So don't worry about me, okay?"

Upon hearing Arizona's confidence Teddy and Callie felt better about their friend's future as well but that didn't mean they were letting her off the hook. The two spent the better part of the next hour making Arizona feel guilty for keeping her sickness a secret.

**...**

It took a week for Arizona to fully recover from the infection that ravaged her body. Because of the infection her oncologist decided to change up the drugs in her chemotherapy regimen to include a new trial drug that was supposed to help the immune system. Whether it was the new drug or not, Arizona didn't have any more problems after that. In fact, she started feeling better than ever. Her bad days shrank down to only the day or two after treatment and the rest of the time she felt perfectly healthy. She felt so good that she forced Alex into spending every free moment he had studying with her.

Their work paid off and Alex successfully passed his boards.

Two weeks after Alex passed his boards, Arizona had successfully completed six months of chemotherapy treatment. All tests showed no trace of any cancer or precancerous cells in her body. She was declared to be cancer free. Just because she was given a clean bill of health didn't mean that her battle with cancer was over. Every three months for the first year she had to go back for more testing. The second year she had to go back every four months for more testing. And from the third through fifth years she would be tested twice a year. It wasn't until she was five years cancer free that she was considered in remission. Even then Arizona knew she wasn't safe, breast cancer had one of the highest reoccurrence rates after the five year mark. Arizona knew that she would spend the rest of her life fighting cancer but she wasn't going to let that run her life. For now, she was cancer free and that was all that mattered.

**...**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: And now the conclusion. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are owned by ABC and not me.

**...**

One year later, Arizona was sitting in a very familiar waiting room. She hoped that she was going to get good news that day. The results she was waiting for would mark the first of many milestones she had to look forward to in her life.

The past year hadn't been easy for Arizona. She thought that she would just jump right back into life and everything would be like it had been before. But it wasn't. More importantly, she wasn't the same. Cancer had changed her - not only physically but emotionally. She was stronger and weaker at the same time. She was stronger as she had successfully battled and beaten cancer but for the first time in her life she had real issues with her body. Nothing about her body was the same. Her hair slowly grew back but after a year it was still barely touching her shoulders. Her main issue was with her post surgery body. She had done breast reconstruction but there were still scars. Most days her breasts felt like they didn't belong to her. Her insecurities had her avoiding any type of relationship. She could barely be naked in front of a mirror let alone with another person. Not only did she have issues with her body but so did many of her patients and their families. Parents didn't like to see a doctor who looked like she could be a patient herself working on their child. They didn't care if Arizona was cured or not - they didn't want her to help. Sometimes Arizona thought that the parents had the right idea; after being out of work for almost eight months, her skills weren't as sharp as they needed to be. She often felt lost while at work. Her oncologist reassured her that it would get better; that it was just remnant "chemo brain." The only saving grace for Arizona was that she had Alex to lean on. Alex had started his fellowship and became Arizona's right hand man. He could tell when she was lagging on something and would jump in with the solution to help her without embarrassing Arizona by telling her that she was doing it wrong. Personally and professionally - no part of her life was the same.

But the year was over. The year post cancer was almost as tough as the year with cancer but Arizona had survived. And once her doctor gave her the all clear she was ready to completely move on. Her physical appearance was better. With the longer hair and the pounds she had put back on, she no longer looked like a cancer patient. Her skills were back up to speed and she felt competent again as a doctor. She was starting not to feel like her old self, but like her new and better self.

A half hour later, Arizona walked out of the oncologist's office with a spring in her step. Her scans were still good and she had been taken off all of her remaining preventative cancer medications. He also gave her permission to do the one thing that she had wanted for the last year - to try to get pregnant. During her darkest days of chemo, Arizona would have nightmares. Normal people wouldn't have considered them nightmares, they would have considered them good dreams. But to Arizona they were nightmares. She'd dream about her future. She'd see herself actually having a future. She'd see her kids. She'd see births, birthdays, school plays and soccer games. She'd see high school and college graduations. She'd even see weddings and grandbabies in her dreams. But in those dark, bad days those dreams were nightmares because they were showing her everything she believed the cancer was taking from her. It was time for Arizona to turn those nightmares back into dreams and make them into her reality.

When the doctor gave her the go ahead to start trying to get pregnant, Arizona was immediately faced with a predicament. She didn't know what she should or shouldn't tell Alex. This was one reason why she wanted an anonymous donor. She didn't have to report to anyone if it was anonymous. Alex made it clear that the embryos were all hers but she wasn't sure if she should give Alex a heads up about her plans. Surely, if she was lucky enough to get pregnant, Alex would find out in time but she didn't know if she should tell him that she was even trying.

In the end, Arizona decided to tell him. The first free moment she had with him alone was when they were scrubbing in to do a kidney transplant together. They were both almost done scrubbing when Arizona finally got the nerve to tell him her news.

"So, I had my one year check-up today," Arizona said nonchalantly as she finished scrubbing her right hand.

"It went well?" Alex said as he looked up at her. While they had grown close during the time they spent together while Arizona was ill and he was studying, the business of Alex's fellowship year had found them with little time to continue their friendship.

Arizona nodded as she rinsed her arms under the stream of water. "It did. Really well actually. So, I think I'm going to start trying to get pregnant. I just thought you should know." The last bit of Arizona's statement came out so quickly and rambled together that even she wasn't sure that Alex could understand her.

"Okay," Alex nodded and pushed the door to the operating room open with his back. "I'm happy for you."

That's all that Alex needed to say and Arizona seemed pleased with his response. Alex understood why Arizona was telling him. He knew that she didn't want him to be caught off guard when she did get pregnant but to him it wasn't his baby. It was just his sperm. He knew from his own childhood that providing sperm didn't make anyone a father. He really was happy for Arizona. She had been through hell and deserved some happiness.

**...**

After over a year of visiting various doctors' offices, for once, Arizona was happy to be at the doctor. She made her first appointment with her reproductive specialist, Dr. Waters, to get started on in-vitro fertilization. Out of the eighteen eggs that had been retrieved and fertilized with Alex's sperm, fourteen matured into embryos that had been frozen and were waiting to be implanted. Arizona already knew the procedure but she listened to Dr. Waters tell it to her again anyway. She'd have to take the same drugs that she took to get the eggs to make her uterus ready for implantation. After two weeks of the drugs, she'd be ready for the frozen embryo transfer procedure and two weeks after that she could take a pregnancy test. For the first round of IVF Arizona and the doctor decided on using two embryos. Because she was older than thirty-five the chances of one embryo implanting weren't great, so using two was ideal.

A month later, Arizona took a pregnancy test. It was negative. Arizona knew her chances of it working were only around thirty-three percent but that didn't make it any easier to take the negative result. The pregnancy test showed a frowny face as she was staring at it. It was like the test was mocking her. She drowned her sorrows in a bottle of wine and geared up to try again.

Round two went much like the first round. Two weeks of fertility medications made Arizona crazy. The increased hormone levels had her mood swings off the charts. Nurses at work never knew which Dr. Robbins they were going to get - the happy and perky Dr. Robbins or the pissed off Dr. Robbins who would bite their heads off for saying hello. The nurses weren't the only ones that noticed her mood changes - so did her friends. Alex was the first to notice but he knew that she was doing IVF so he knew that the mood swings had to be as a result of the drugs. Everyone else was left to wonder just why Arizona had gone crazy. The general consensus was that she found out that her cancer was back but no one was brave enough to ask her. It wasn't until she got tired of everyone staring at her that she told off the entire cafeteria for their poor manners by staring and that no, she hadn't had a relapse. After that everyone held their breath around her and hoped that they wouldn't set her off. She didn't mean to go off on her nurses and her friends but she couldn't help the effect the drugs had on her. Arizona just hoped that this round worked because she didn't like who she became on the drugs.

Two weeks after the embryo transfer, Arizona was pacing nervously in her bathroom. She had been over-analyzing potential pregnancy symptoms for the last week. Every twinge she felt in her abdomen she thought was a sure fire signal that she was pregnant. But she felt the same things the first cycle so she knew not to trust her gut. Instead she had to wait another three minutes to see if a smile or a frown showed up on the test. Three minutes had never gone by more slowly in her life. She had a job to get to but she couldn't go all day without knowing if she was pregnant or not. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Arizona walked toward the counter and looked down at the pregnancy test. A wide smile grew on Arizona's face as she turned around and left for work.

**...**

Four weeks after learning that she was pregnant, Arizona was still the only one in on her secret. It felt like she had cancer all over again with keeping secrets except this one was good news. But she was so afraid that something was going to go wrong, that she wanted to wait until the socially-acceptable second trimester to tell people. She still had six weeks to go.

Arizona had done a lot of thinking over the four weeks since she had learned that she was having a baby. When she found out she was pregnant, it was like a maternal button just turned on in her body. She couldn't believe the love she had for a tiny clump of replicating cells. Every decision she made was now about what was best for the baby - from what she ate and drank to how she drove her car. She also started worrying about her baby's future. She knew that she was financially stable and her child would only want for things because she refused to parent a spoiled brat. The most troubling worry Arizona had was about raising a child as a single parent. She worried how her son or daughter would feel about not having a dad or another mom. She worried about if she would be able to give things to her child that having another parent around would be able to do. In the end, Arizona was surprised by her decision. She knew that she would be a good parent but she also knew that her child deserved both parents if the other parent wanted to be involved. Alex deserved a chance to be involved. It was his choice and he had previously said that he didn't want to be the father but Arizona wanted to give him one more chance to say yes or no.

That afternoon, during a break in her day, Arizona paged Alex to her office.

"Hey, what's up?" Alex asked when he arrived after getting her page.

Arizona stood up from behind her desk and closed her office door. Alex immediately worried that he was in trouble. Arizona never closed her office door unless she was in a meeting about something important. She liked to keep the door open so that people thought that they could always come talk to her; it made her more accessible to the residents and interns that were scared of the hospital department heads. As Alex took a seat across from Arizona's desk he started to go through everything he had done that day to try to figure out what he had messed up that resulted in a page to the boss's office.

Arizona immediately noticed Alex's nerves. She rubbed his shoulder as she walked back behind her desk, "Relax, Alex. It's nothing bad."

That did little to ease his worries. He was still in the principal's office. He needed her to rip the band-aid off. "So, what's going on?"

Arizona took a deep breath to try and steady her nerves, "I'm pregnant."

"Wow," Alex's mouth dropped open. He hadn't expected that but he didn't know why he didn't. Arizona had told him she was going to start trying over three months ago.

"Yeah. And I've been doing a lot of thinking," Arizona decided that sitting behind her desk was too formal for this talk so she got up and moved around so that she was sitting next to Alex. This was a discussion between friends and not a boss and subordinate and it needed to be treated as such.

Alex waited patiently for Arizona to resituate herself so she could tell him exactly what she had been thinking.

Arizona tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "So I've been thinking about our arrangement. I know you said that you're cool just being the anonymous donor and that's fine with me too. But I've also been thinking that you don't have to be. This baby deserve its' best life and if you want to be a part of that then that's fine with me."

"So you want me to be dad?" Alex asked. He was confused as to what Arizona was saying. All along they both were under the presumption that he wouldn't be the father; he'd just be the donor.

"If you want," Arizona told him. " The way I see it you have three options. Number one: you could be no one. This kid would never know that you're his father. Number two: you could be the cool uncle. You could be part of the extended family. You'd be a part of the baby's life without the responsibility of being a parent. You could get a few weekends a year, maybe do some camping and trips to baseball games. You'd get the fun stuff. And number three: you can be this baby's father. We would co-parent together. We would come up with custody arrangements and rules and be mom and dad together. The only thing that I ask is that you decide what you want to be before the baby is born and once the baby is born you can't change your mind. I don't want you to decide to be dad and then five years later you disappear from his life. Just the same, I don't want you to show up out of nowhere and tell my ten-year-old that you're his father."

Alex sat stunned in the chair. He didn't even know what to say. He had never even considered being a father to any child. "I...uh...I...I don't...I don't think..." Alex stuttered as he tried to figure out what was the appropriate thing to say.

Arizona pulled out an ultrasound picture and put it in his lap. "Listen, I don't expect you to answer me today. You have about thirty-four weeks to figure this out. Just think about it because like I said, I don't want you changing your mind."

Alex looked down at the picture in his lap. At six weeks, the baby was nothing more than a speck but he could make out what the ultrasound was showing. Everything looked normal. He couldn't deny that looking at the ultrasound picture of his baby didn't stir feelings up inside of him but he wasn't sure that just because he had feelings that he was ready to be a dad. Alex took the picture and shoved it in his pocket.

"I'll think about it," he told Arizona honestly before getting back to work.

Arizona let out a deep sigh and sat back in her chair. The ball was now in Alex's court.

**...**

A week later Arizona was filling her plate with spinach at the salad bar when she felt someone come up from behind and stand awkwardly close to her. She turned her head and saw Alex right behind her.

"Do you really want me as part of your life forever? As Uncle or Dad or whatever?" Alex asked quietly without announcing himself.

Arizona turned back to the salad bar and began putting cheese on top of her salad, "If you want to be, then yes."

"And you think I'd be good at it?" Alex asked. His question put into words one of his biggest fears. It was why he had been pretty sure that he'd never have children. He didn't think he'd be good at it. He'd had terrible parents. He didn't have any type of role model in the parent department and he was pretty sure that he'd screw it up.

Arizona took her plate and turned around so that she was looking at him. She wanted to make sure that Alex really listened to her answer to this question. He needed to really hear the answer. "I do. I think you'd be great."

Alex just huffed in response and started to walk away but not before turning around and pointing at her plate full of just spinach and shredded cheese, "You should really put some veggies on that."

Arizona rolled her eyes at his comment but did go back to the salad bar to add some broccoli and carrots to her plate. Even though she hated him making comments on her eating habits, she was happy that at least Alex appeared to be thinking about what she had said to him. She honestly didn't care what his answer was, she just wanted to make sure he was making the right decision for him. Alex making the right decision for himself would be the right decision for their baby. She didn't want him to step up and be a father if he didn't want to, similarly, she didn't want him to watch his child grow up without him if he didn't want that either.

**...**

Three weeks later Arizona was having a rough day She hadn't felt well all day and her head was killing her. She had two more hours of work to make it through then she planned on curling up on her couch with a box of doughnuts and her DVR but a car accident involving a elementary school bus making its' afternoon drop-offs caused an influx of pediatric patients in the hospital. Every available pediatric doctor - surgical or not was in the emergency room treating patients. Arizona was busy running around, supervising and fielding questions from the interns that were taking care of the kids with lesser injuries.

Arizona was treating a facial laceration when the annoying pressure she had been feeling all day in her abdomen suddenly turned painful. She almost felt like her appendix was going to burst. Arizona tried her best to ignore it and continue stitching up the cut on the little boy's face. She had gotten used to weird feelings in her abdomen and her doctor assured her that they were all normal. Once she finished with her patient, Arizona stood up to move on to the next patient. When she stood up she felt it. She could feel that she was bleeding. It felt like she was having her period. Immediately she started worrying. She knew that cramping was normal in pregnancy and even bleeding could be normal but cramping and bleeding together was never a good sign.

Alex had been watching Arizona all afternoon. He could tell she hadn't been feeling well. The constant rubbing on her temples told him that much. He had been waiting for the right time to talk to her about the decision she was asking him to make. He had thought he had figured out what he wanted and he was going to tell her after lunch but then the crash happened and things got crazy. Alex watched her stitching up a little boy as he was across the room stitching up a little girl. Alex looked down to put his last stitch in and when he looked up Arizona was gone.

Something inside of Alex told him that something was wrong. Arizona wouldn't leave the pit during such a busy time. Something had to have happened.

"Where's Dr. Robbins?" Alex asked the intern that had been working with her.

"She just left. Said she had to take care of something upstairs," the intern answered.

Alex looked around the pit. It looked like everything was under control. The parents were starting to show up and take most of the kids home. He decided they wouldn't miss him if he left. Alex immediately went upstairs and headed for Arizona's office. The door was closed and the lights were off inside. She wasn't there. He searched the rest of the floor and asked everyone but no one had seen her since before the bus accident. He resigned himself to the fact that Arizona could take care of herself and headed back toward the pit. It was his hungry stomach that detoured him to the attendings' lounge for a candy bar that led him to Arizona.

He had just pushed the button for his Twix bar when he distinctly heard Arizona swearing from the attached bathroom.

"You okay, Robbins?" he asked loud enough so that Arizona could hear him through the closed door.

Arizona froze when she heard Alex's voice. She didn't know what to say to him. She had ran up to the bathroom to check and see just how much bleeding was going on. She wasn't prepared to deal with her medical crisis and Alex at the same time.

"Yeah. I'm fine," she yelled back. She hoped that he would leave so she wouldn't have to face him and tell him that she was probably having a miscarriage.

Alex rolled his eyes. He knew her better than that. She wasn't okay. "You don't sound okay," he called her out.

"Alex, I'm just having a bad day. Just leave, please."

Alex could tell by her voice that something wasn't right at all. His own intuition told him that it had to involve the baby. Alex moved so that he was leaning up against the bathroom door. "Arizona, I'm not leaving until you come out."

"Alex," Arizona begged.

"Come out. I'm good at dealing with you on your bad days, if you don't remember."

Arizona gave up on getting Alex to leave. She needed to get to OB and Alex was blocking her only exit. She didn't have any choice but to open the door. Alex could feel the door moving and moved out of the way. He looked for any sign of what was wrong with Arizona but he couldn't see anything physically wrong with her. He could see by her puffy red eyes that she had been crying but he couldn't see any source of the pain.

Alex stood in front of her and blocked her exit, "What's wrong?"

"I need to get to OB," she said quietly.

Alex's heart dropped. He had feared that it was something about the baby. He wasn't even sure if it was going to be _his_ baby, in fact he was pretty sure it wasn't going to be, but it was Arizona's baby and he didn't want to see it hurt. Alex put his hand on her back and opened the door for them, "I'll take you."

Twenty minutes later, Arizona was waiting in a hospital bed with a hospital gown on. Alex was sitting in the chair next to her. They were both nervously biting their nails while they waited. They hadn't spoken to each other since they left the lounge. Everything that Alex knew was going on was because he heard Arizona tell the nurse who brought her back to wait for the doctor. It wasn't that Arizona didn't want Alex to know. He deserved to know. It was just that she didn't feel like she could verbalize it to him without breaking down in tears. She couldn't be the one to tell him that she was losing his child. Even if he didn't want to be a part of the child's life she couldn't be the one to tell him that he didn't even have the option anymore. If she said it out loud it would make it real.

The waiting was killing them both. The fear of the unknown was just making their imaginations run wild which only led to the worst thoughts. They needed the doctor to show up so that they'd just know - one way or the other.

Finally, they heard a knock on the door. A tall, black female entered the room. Arizona and Alex both recognized her from around the hospital but neither knew her personally.

"I'm Dr. Tarrant. I'm the OB/GYN on call," she introduced herself by shaking Arizona's hand. "Now, Dr. Robbins, let's see what's going on. I need to ask you some questions first."

Arizona shifted on the bed nervously but nodded her head.

"You're experiencing bleeding and cramping? Anything else?"

"I've had a headache all day," Arizona answered.

Dr. Tarrant made notes as Arizona spoke, "And you're ten weeks?"

"Yes."

"When was the last ultrasound you had?"

Arizona pulled out her phone to get the exact date, "Sixteen days ago."

"So, at about seven and a half weeks," Dr. Tarrant scribbled in the chart before looking up. "And was everything normal? You heard the heartbeat?"

Arizona played with her fingers. She hated having to answer these questions. "Yes, everything looked perfect."

Dr. Tarrant put the chart down and rolled closer to Arizona's bed. "Okay, I'm going to go get the portable ultrasound so we can see what's going on." The doctor gave no sign of what was going on or what she thought was going on before she left the room.

Arizona took a deep breath and laid down on the table as the doctor left the room. Arizona's stomach was churning as she sat on the cold hospital bed. She was trying not to throw up at the thought of having a miscarriage. She didn't know if she could handle a miscarriage. Alex who had spent the entire time the doctor was in the room staring at his hands, finally looked up as he heard the pain in Arizona's sigh. He didn't know what to do. There was nothing he could do. There was nothing either of them could do. Nothing could be done to prevent first trimester miscarriages, if that was what was happening. So Alex did the only thing he could do, he reached out and grabbed Arizona's hand to let her know that he was there for her. She wasn't all alone in this.

They continued to wait in silence until the doctor returned with the ultrasound machine. The only noise in the room was the doctor narrating what she was doing as she readied the machine. It only took a moment once Dr. Tarrant inserted the wand for an image to appear on the screen. Dr. Tarrant's face didn't show any sign of what she was finding in Arizona's uterus. All Alex and Arizona could do was wait for her to tell them what was going on. After what seemed like a lifetime but was only a few minutes, the doctor finally started pointing things out on the monitor. She zoomed in and pointed to a large defined circle with a smaller darker circle in it.

"This is the placenta. And that's a subchorionic hematoma. Or an SCH for short. Basically it's a pocket of blood that's formed while the placenta is developing. This is where the bleeding is coming from. It's fairly normal and should go away on its' own," Dr. Tarrant explained.

"So everything is okay?" Arizona asked. She was a little stunned. She had been sure she was having a miscarriage.

"Yes," Dr. Tarrant answered her question.

After spending the entire time silent Alex finally found his voice, "I thought an SCH could cause miscarriage?"

"Some do," Dr. Tarrant nodded. "But I'm not worried about this one. The location is pretty far away from the developing fetus. It won't cause any problems. You'll probably keep bleeding for a week or so and possibly even longer until it goes away but that is normal."

"So everything is _really_ okay?" Arizona asked hopefully.

Dr. Tarrant nodded and couldn't help but smile as she watched Arizona smile for the first time that afternoon. Typically a woman with Arizona's symptoms rarely resulted in a positive outcome, so Dr. Tarrant enjoyed being able to give the good news for once. She knew that she had something else that could make Arizona smile even wider and help put her mind more at peace, "Yes. Everything looks good. Do you want to hear the heartbeat?"

Arizona nodded enthusiastically as her eyes filled with tears. She was so relieved to hear the news from the doctor but she knew that she wouldn't truly believe it until she heard her baby's heartbeat to reassure her that everything truly was okay.

Dr. Tarrant repositioned the wand inside of Arizona so that it was closer to the growing fetus to be able to pick up the heartbeat. With a few clicks on the keyboard, soon a steady thumping beat filled the air.

The tears that had filled Arizona's eyes came flooding out when she heard the sound. She had never heard a better sound before.

"I'm going to go make copies of these images for you to take to your OB. She'll want to keep an eye on the SCH to make sure it goes away on its own," the doctor told her as she left the room to give the couple some time alone to enjoy the ultrasound.

Arizona didn't say anything as she closed her eyes and relaxed on the bed as she listened to the heartbeat. With her eyes closed she couldn't see that Alex's eyes were transfixed on the image of the baby on the ultrasound. When the baby's heartbeat filled the silent exam room, Alex was surprised by what he felt. He didn't even know what he was feeling at first. At first he confused his feelings as relief that everything was okay with the baby, for Arizona's sake. But the longer he listened to the heartbeat the more he realized that he was feeling relief that the baby was okay, for his sake. As he stared at the peanut shaped baby on the ultrasound, he knew he was in love with the baby. It was his baby. It was his baby that he almost lost that day and he didn't want to feel that again.

Alex squeezed Arizona's hand that he was still holding tight, "Arizona?"

"Yeah?" she propped herself up on her elbows and opened her eyes to see what Alex had to say to her.

"I'm in."

Alex didn't need to say anything else. They both knew what he meant by that. Arizona gave him a smile and laid back down on the table while Alex continue to hold her hand tight while he stared at the picture on the ultrasound monitor.

They were having a baby.

**...**

A/N: I know people might be disappointed that this story doesn't end with them being together but I said at the beginning this was a story of how their family started. The rest are stories to be told later. I hope you enjoyed it.


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